There is HOPE...
For my country...
For those who strive to work hard...
For those who dream of a better future...
For those who love and lost...
For those who have lost faith...

For me...

Still bitching...

“When a man gives his opinion he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion she's a bitch.” Bette Davis

“Just because I have my standards, they think I'm a bitch” Diana Ross

After three months and turning thirty at the same time, I can say I have changed a lot but not enough to make me stop bitching my way through life. Experiences made me tough, wisdom gave me strength and people external to my inner circle made me bitchy. (yeah you heard me, you know who you people are...

When I was in high school my mother told me my idealism will either kill me or it'll kill people... Yet I don't see any killings yet, well not at the moment though but hey I saw some of my dreams and wishes die slowly... And yes, if bitchy remarks can kill, I see a lot of dead people already which the world can do without.

Looking back I know I have become less of a bitch than I was way way back before... (do I hear some objections? lol) But yeah I have become a softy, must be age or must be that I am tired already that I just choose to ignore ignoramus people (ignoramus is to ignore as to accept the fact that some people who calls for attention are better off being ignored so as not to give in to their addiction for attention).

Hey, I'm not being a pessimist here. To people who do not know me, they will not understand what I am saying here and would even think that "yeah, she is a bitch." Society dictates too much about what a person should be and shouldn't be. Some people would call you names and yet fails to see their big egos. Oh well... life is just like that...

Where 'am I going with this? nowhere... I feel like bitching away... there are days when you just want to run away from everything and not look back... I am in that mode right now... I'm so looking forward to the next few months when I can actually put into practice this "running away mode."

Mid-life bitching

We all have problems of our own and most of the time we spend procrastinating about things that literally concerns our well being. And then some people will tell you that you should focus on the good side, count your blessings, there are bigger problems happening around the world and so your problems are what... mere "subconscious dramas" (quoted from a great friend)... But heck! this is my world, my life and my own problems. How I deal with it is my business. Pssh*t let me start all over again, for a more positive reflection...

Okay so after several minutes of soul searching I can not find any positive energy in me. And so my message remains the same. It's my life, accept it or live me alone. If you want to empathize with me, don't give me inspirational craps, I might as well hear that yes indeed the world is full of greedy idiots and that no I can not really do anything about it... because at the end of the day the world is still compose of individuals, with their own dreams, own problems and own lives to live. But of course there is still hope, but that is, if we find some common goals to make this a better world but then again (whew) we still have to live our lives and not be forced to live it according to others.

And as for me, this is my life and I will live it the way I want (Read: yeah right, easier said than done, might as well go up the mountains and vanish) as long as I am not hurting or causing any human rights violations to others. For now I will focus on my world. Call it selfish, I don't give a d*mn, it's been too long since I focused on my SELF. I need this now more than ever, get it?

Words of Wisdom from Calvin

"Life is like topography, Hobbes.

There are summits of happiness and success...

Flat stretches of boring routine...

And valleys of frustration and failure."

-Calvin

(calvin and hobbes)

Ad vitam (For life)

I remember when I was in highschool, I always list down dreams and goals... things I want to achieve... I went through those years planning my life as if I have a total control of it... But as I grow old, little by little you get to understand that life is not really your own. And despite careful planning and determination, there will always be potholes along the way and dead end signs and even freaky pauses that make you wonder if life will get worst than it already is...

By next year, I'll be leaving the world of the 20s... By this time, based on my plans I would have achieved my Ph.D, have a high paying but socially responsible job, a business of my own, and a car... and yes I even thought of getting married once I hit 30. So now as 2009 is just around the corner, waiting to jump on me... I get to think that I have missed so much on my targets. There are times I feel like a failure... I look at myself and ask "What have you done dude?"

But life has not been that bad for me... I've travelled (something that I love to do and I feel blessed), I have my family, a nice "developing" family home, nearing to my degree, great friends, a life insurance (whew), and a bestfriend, boog. And I still have my dreams and I know that in God's own time, I will be able to achieve all of it...

So you may ask, what's the purpose of this blog entry anyway? Out of boredom? probably... but I'm just thinking aloud. I may not have my dream job nor do I have my dream savings but I can say that I have lived the past 29 years or so with a happy heart and yes despite the numerous frustrations, tears, problems and headaches... Life is still good to me.

What's in store for me next year? I have no idea. I somehow stopped planning and listing things down. But I never stopped creating new dreams and hoping for better days... I know that as I aged I also matured a lot... I find myself different now than I was 15 years ago. I can say I am a much better person (less tantrums I swear!)and I have my learning failures, my sweet achievements and the people in my life to thank for all of these... Nobody said that life will always be sweet and all sunshine; there will be thunder storms and rough paths but the journey and the will to move forward makes a lot of difference...

I promise to be more optimistic next year and to try to look into the goodness of others and in everything that comes my way, be it my work, my studies or even with people I meet. I have been engulfed by my self built wall, covered in dark dreary clouds... Now I am seeing rays of light along my path and I know that my happiness lies not in other peoples hands but in my own.

I am going to live! (with fingers crossed)

But this is all for 2009. hehehe

"I Like DEAD END signs... I think they're kind...

They atleast have the decency to let you know you're going nowhere..."

- Bugs Bunny

... I need a sign right now... it does not have to be a dead end sign...

a no U-Turn would be very much welcomed...

BLUEs and greens...

Last Sunday (9/21/08) we watched the UAAP Best of Three Game (ADMU vs. DLSU) with Emman a.k.a Dude (thanks for the GA ticket, I owe you one) and of course with my UAAP buddy and seat-saver (hehe) Balbie. It was a long wait and the commute was a bit hellish but it was all worth it because ADMU won the game. ADMU was awesome! I mean the way they played almost made everybody jump for joy and of course for those at the other side it was like hell (no wonder they said it's already flooded along Taft~ I am just quoting from others, hehehe woohoo!). But to summarize the 2-hr game, it was one of the best games I ever saw. Yes, I know I am not from ADMU but you know I came to love how the team plays. The spirit and passion of the ADMU students are really amazing. In every game, you can't help but get swept away by their cheers, the cool band playing, the over flowing shades of blue worn by everybody... Saludo talaga... I can't wait for Thursday, game 2 na! (Pero kahit tuyot daw sa Diliman, Go Maroons!)

With all the cheering and the exciting wait for the next game, I am craving for the all new San Miguel Premium Malt Beer. Ah, yes... Iced cold... in a green bottle. hehehe... Anything green is suppose to be good right? ;-) It's made of 100% malt and contains only 5% alcohol. It's suppose to be better than San Miguel Pale Pilsen and smoother than the San Miguel Light. I have not tried it yet and I'm now craving for one... To make it more frustrating only a few bars and resto are serving this beer. Butter Diner at Araneta Cubao is serving this beer (P90.00 per bottle) but since it was only 12nn plus my mother was with us, my brother, sister and I decided to hold our craving, get ourselves together and try to look for a grocery store that sells this beer, but no we did not find any. (Dear Sir Danding, can we please have a case of this new beer? We promise we will share... XOXO ~) I know I also stopped drinking (more than 6 bottles, like I promised) but hey I am cheering for the blue eagles with a green bottle in my hand, what can possibly be more exciting than that? Well uhmmm I can think of other things (~hehe) but right now pass me that bottle please...